That's a scary phrase. Whether you're in school and taking a test, or visiting someone in the hospital, or finally spending time with your child in the orphanage before you go to court. That one I don't know from experience yet, but it has to be hard. After the months and months of struggle to get there, you get to spend time with them, but then have to walk out until the next day. The pics I've seen of "gotcha day" on so many blogs always make me cry. Just knowing that this child is no longer an orphan, but is finally safe in the arms of his or her family. I know I'll be a blubbering mess when we leave with Sam and Duncan. They are old enough to fully understand what is going on, which I'm sure will be scary. The only home they have known, their safety net, is about to change completely, new language, new country, us (scary in itself!! lol).
This morning at church our preacher gave us a very sobering lesson on time's up. He brought a digital clock with an alarm and set it on the front of the pulpit where everyone could see. He started off the lesson with the invitation (normally given right at the end), and told us that when the alarm went off, the lesson was done. And that's what he did. He talked about the importance of keeping our focus, our aim on God, not letting life get in the way. After about 15-20 minutes, the alarm went off, making all of us jump! He stopped right in the middle of his sentence, and the lesson was over. It was an excellent reminder of how we don't know when life will end for us. We've all seen seemingly healthy people pass away suddenly, so we know we aren't guaranteed tomorrow. The Lord could return for us right now. What are we doing to be prepared?
I'll be completely honest. Right now, all of my time and energy is focused on Sam and Duncan. No thought, no action, nothing happens in my day without it revolving around the boys. I've let God slip in my priority list. I see the things He's doing, things that can only be coming from Him, and still I've been neglecting Him. I probably pray more than I ever have, but my bible study (never my strongest habit) has dropped to nothing. I don't make time for my church family, knowing things I could be doing for them. I knew this was happening, but this morning the lesson really slapped me in the face with the reality of it. It's a contradiction, my faith is being strengthened but my actions are denying it. James 2:18 - 18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your[a]works, and I will show you my faith by my[b] works.
My actions aren't showing my faith. Yes, we're busy with the adoption, but everyone else's life doesn't revolve around it. (Shocking isn't it!) First, I need to spend some time away from the computer and in God's Word. Second, I need to be there for my church family and friends. I can't expect them to be here for me and me not do the same for them. And my own family needs me to be the best Christian I can. Sam had expressly said he wanted a Christian family, a family he would worship God with. To be the best mom I can be, for him, Duncan, and my four kids here, I need to be the best Christian I can be first. So please keep me in my prayers that I will regain the focus and keep my priorities in the right place.