Thursday, May 3, 2012

This is the worst day ever!

 No, not really. (My young nephew uses this phrase ALL the time, to the point that it's become a family joke.) Today wasn't one of my best though. I had a not-so-good morning with a major pity party for myself. Totally overreacted to a problem, to the point of even saying my whole month is ruined. (Yeah, MAJOR pity party going on here). Well, maybe not a total overreaction, as it was a significant bump. But God used it to smack me upside the head and say "really? Will you just calm down and trust Me already?"

Tonight I can look back at it and realize that it all worked together. If the bump this morning hadn't happened, then this afternoon wouldn't have taken the wonderful turn that it did. We'll see how it goes, but I have a really good feeling. I'm really wanting to get my social work degree and help kids with special needs, and because of this morning, I may have a chance to start working towards getting some experience I've been needing. I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens next with it.

I'm slowly learning to listen and trust God more. I've always SAID that I trusted Him, but I never really put it into action before this year. He knows I'm stubborn and impatient, and He's been putting me in a lot of situations lately where I don't have any choice but to trust. I'm learning to let Him lead me where I need to go. It's really hard to do most of the time. I want things to happen RIGHT NOW.

I've learned that praying for patience is a double edged sword. There's only one way to learn patience, and that's in situations that require it. Which sucks, big time. James 1:2-3 "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience". Ouch. Now I know nothing I've ever been through compares to the trials the early Christians faced. I don't know what real trials are, I understand that. But even my trivial little concerns help build patience. Most of us don't live our lives going through major trials ALL the time. But we all do have little trials, bumps, and problems. They say life is in the details, or something like that. And it's true. We can all believe that if we go through some great test of our faith, we'd do the right thing. We'd take a bullet rather than deny Christ if at gunpoint, right? But how do we face the little things every day? With faith and patience, or with drama and self pity?

Maybe one day I'll learn to take things patiently from the beginning, and totally trust in Him. But until then, I'll keep trying to learn my lessons, one mistake at a time.

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